The Plastic World Of Gelato

Gelato is ice cream. It’s just made a bit differently than ice cream that is still called ice cream. Those differences can be easily looked up on the Internet. The thing about gelato that is really different are those little, plastic shovels that have replaced spoons. They tend to be pretty, many different tints, and it just seems a shame to toss them, once you are done eating the gelato (which is more expensive than ice cream). You pay more for less. Maybe the point is to take tiny bites & savour the expense of the experience?

I have learned that I have to stop saving everything that I think is pretty. If I don’t I will become just another hoarder. So, yesterday, in commemoration of purchasing my tenth punch-card gelato, I arranged a little photograph session to show off my collection of gelato spoons (mini shovels) & bid them a fond farewell. It was not that easy. As soon as I tossed them, my inner Martha Stewart started pulling at my brain, thinking of a new style of tiara for Princess Melita Bonaparte, one that would be compelling & go with every thrift store rig in her wardrobe. Things like that make hoarding seem harmless. It’s not like that episode when I saw frozen cats being removed from a deep freeze. Oh, from gelato to dead, frozen cats, what a horrid digression!

And, what at first glance looks vaguely like a cellular mobile device is really the punch card that allowed for my ‘free’ Melt treat.

Saying “Goodbye” to my collection of pretty plastic gelato spoons @ Westfield Center, San Francisco 13 July 2013

An array of gelato ‘spoons’ & the delicacy which soon disappeared.

All of the above was enjoyed @ Melt-Westfield Centre, San Franciso.

References: http://sweets.seriouseats.com/2012/07/whats-the-difference-between-gelato-and-ice-cream.html

No Woman Cheese? Please?

I found this oddly named cheese @ the Market Street Safeway & pondered about the name, deciding to take it home & write about it. ‘No Woman?’ Curiosity & lack of information lead me to my Internet Search engine of choice: Safari–and I found, what seemed to be part of the answer, “No Woman” is part of a Bob Marley song. Wonder if there will be a cheese named after any of Petula Clark’s songs? DON’T SLEEP IN THE SUBWAY–a mellow mustiness, best eaten room temperature with red wine that you bought from Costco!

What wine should I chose for this one? Tap water? What would King Solomon or Woody Allen do?

Why would a cheese company name a product ‘No Woman?’ I AM CURIOUS YELLOW ABOUT THIS & Found my answer via Safari, searching The Internet.

Bon Appetit!

http://www.bonappetit.com/

In Texas, You Eat Your Ice Cream In A Skillett. /Ien Teayxus, ya eet ayscream en uh skyillieatte

DALLAS-FORT WORTH: MUNDUS IN AIRPORT PESSIMUM

Here is a photograph of a skillet of ice cream with what looks to be a pickle slice on the side. You are quite correct, there are two before photographs, I did lose count.
This is the CRITICAL OBSERVATION PHASE, just before surrendering to the allure of Texas cuisine, while waiting for my flight to be cancelled: 29 May 2013.

I don’t remember eating any pickle slice with my skillet of ice-cream. I think that custom remains only in Waco.

Due to tornadoes, I had an entire day @ the Dallas/Fort Worth Airport. One can do a lot in a day @ the world’s worst airport, get in trouble deep, or eat ice-cream in a skillet & or get caught up on current events reading. I chose the latter.

Here is a BEFORE photograph of a skillet of ice-ceam.

In Texas, you get a skillet of ice-cream. Bowls are only used when going to the Governor’s Mansion.

Besides that, I read lots & lots & lots of Dan Savage columns in rather large stack of SF Weekly magazines I accumulated over the past several months, not having had the time to work them in my regular, domestic reading schedule. SF Weekly is very good at in-depth investigative journalism–you learn a lot of unpleasant things about the goings on with MUNI, how horrible their repair situation for bus parts is! They simply make do, like you would if in Texas or Arkansas, they just cannibalize existing older buses, till there’s nothing left but a shell. Their lots must look like mobile home courts after those tornadoes sent as punishment for all those mobile home court meth labs. They don’t keep any computerised system for bus repair parts. If they would enter the 21st Century & stop hiring their relatives, and get the computer stuff going, the managers might know at any given time what parts are in stock, and when these parts are about to be depleted, so that they may order BEFORE running out. But they are not interested in the work that needs to be done, only protecting their turf & placing their inept relatives in good paying positions. Put the “N” back in Nepotism, that’s their motto. Then there are the crime reports, the fun technology reports. They report about all kinds of things. When tornadoes wipe out your flight, you get to have time for lots of reading, unless, as I suggested, you chose trouble deep.

Here is what happens when it’s all over.

The skillet of ice-cream, sort of what happens when you chose not to get into trouble deep & return to the Gate where your flight is doomed to be cancelled & you pick up your SF Weekly to see what Dan Savage has to say about mixing pickles with ice-cream.

Heinz Throws In That Ever Reliable Condiment For Your Enjoyment!

You don’t have to put this on your skillet of ice-cream, but it’s there if you want it.

Why did I call Dallas/Fort Worth the world’s worst airport? Anybody pick up on that? Go ahead & defend it–it’s fine not go along with this opinion, just tell me, please about one that’s worse–Share your stories…You might sway me to advise that two such medals be struck.

Well, to answer my own question: THEY KNEW THAT THE FLIGHT WAS GOING TO BE CANCELLED!!!! No way could they have not known. Even Zombies could figure it out. Instead of doing the right thing, and getting us packed off to Best Western, they kept having us go from “pillar to post,” from one Gate to another Gate. I counted 7 times in 90m minutes, and the woman next to me, who had a cellular telephone, corrected me, and told me she had developed a spreadsheet on her tiny mobile device that showed it was 9! Women are good for that, really they are. I appreciated the correction, and we just threw our heads back and howled. If DFW were a decent airport, they would not have permitted people way into their 70s charging back & forth in states of anxiety about missing a flight that they knew damned good & well was cancelled. They were playing nasty-assed mind games at the expense of the emotions, time, and nerves of many people who were trying to get to Joplin, Missouri. I know they can’t help the weather, but they can help how they respond to it. Period! There was no excuse for that lunacy, no a bit!

Logo for the world’s worst airport, getting away with stupid instead of management–sort of civil service in their approach. Do they hire their relatives too?

This is the connecting flight from DFW to Joplin, the one that got away. They knew that they were going to have to cancel the flight. Why did they enjoy making us go back & forth to 9 different Gates in a 90m minute time period? That was totally irresponsible & crazy!

THE AIRPORT AUTHORITIES DID NOT KNOW THAT THE FLIGHT WAS GOING TO BE CANCELLED? OH PLEASE! Princess Melita Bonaparte is contacting Cartier’s to have a medal struck to present to them “Worst Airport in the World.” It may actually say “Pire aéroport au monde,” or she might go for Latin, to give it a more universal appeal,” Mundus in Airport pessimum.” I will advise her to go for the Latin, it seems to have more guts, it really tells the story.

The immediate countryside knew that this flight was going to be cancelled, but they kept passengers hopping like crazed rabbits from one damned Gate to another for 90 minutes before giving in to reality!

Princess Melita Bonaparte Shares Her Pop Tart Recipe With The World

Her Serene Highness, The Princess Melita Bonaparte, unselfishly shares her most splendid way of serving nutritional benefits via her Kellogg’s unfrosted, strawberry Pop Tarts recipe. She uses a family heirloom Kitchenaid toaster, a knife, and a simple brown plate, a gift to her from the children of Monaco. She opens the foil wrapping of the Pop Tarts, takes each Pop Tart & places them in a very royal manner in the toaster. While they are heating, she cuts 4 small slices of Kraft Philadelphia Original Cream Cheese. After the Pop Tarts come out of the toaster from their initial heating, she burns her hand, one completely falls apart, but her sense of royal duty, noblesse oblige, and sheer will to share her goodness with the world prevail, and she more fully explains how, by placing the Pop Tarts adorned with the slices of Philadelphia Cream Cheese, that the additional toasting time allows the flavours to meld & the cheese to soften.

When done, she is unable to taste them before the camera, but always wishes her millions of fans & followers world-wide, Bon Appetit!

Remember, not to watch this at work, she warns you that you should be working. And if you are on a cellular telephone, to let the next bus come by as watching this is more important than getting to your destination!

LOVE HAIGHT (STREET/SAN FRANCISO) RELATIONSHIP #4

This is the side entrance to Whole Foods Market on Haight Street, San Francisco. The customer entrance is on the Stanyan Street side. I don’t know who designed the door, but it’s another Love Haight Relationship addition, showing that a steel door can be made visually interesting.

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INGREDIENTS!–What’s There Not To Trust?

Think of all the things you didn’t bargain for when you eat orange, pink, or green.

Corn syrup, high fructose corn syrup, water, sugar enriched bleached & unbleached flour (wheat flour, malted barley flower niacin, reduced iron, thiamin mononitrate, riboflavin, folic acid*, )  coconut (with sodium metabisulfite to preserve whiteness*) eggs, soybean oil.  Contains 2% or less of each of the following:   Cocoa  (processes with alkali, palm oil, dextrose, gelatin, leavening (baking soda, sodium acid pyrophosphate, monocalcium phosphate), modified corn starch, wheat gluten, egg yolks, corn starch, mono-and diglycerides, salt, datem, sodium stearoyl lactylate, polysorbate 60, soy lechithin, cellulose gum, lactic acid, sorbitan monostearate, artifical flavours*, citric acid, xanthan gum, caramel colour, preserved with potassium sorbate, sorbic acid and sodium propiponate.

IF ORANGE:  contains FD&C yellow #5, FD& red#40.

IF PINK: contains coloured with vegetable juice, FD&C red#40 aluminum lake

IF GREEN:  contains FD&C yellow #5 lake, FD&C blue #1 lake

 

 

*Folic Acid? Is this the stuff that drains from your hair if you use conditioner? Recycled?
*They bleach the flour, then preserve the whitness? Double Trouble for digestive system!
*Artificial? At some point, this becomes redundant!
The whole thing is a mess & we are allowed & encouraged to eat it. Then we make co-payments to our doctors due to the various ills that befall us.

Plain Ice Cream Cone

This is a plain ice cream cone.