INVENTOR OF GOOGLE GLASSES PASSES CLASSES

The real inventor of google glasses is Her Imperial Highness, The Princess Melita Bonaparte. “I invent many things, and make up stuff as I go along. I can’t keep up with all my ideas, so I use my newest invention to take ideas from other people and call their ideas my ideas. It makes taking classes easier, and I get perfect scores on all my tests. It makes managing people easier. They do all of the work, I take credit when the work is good give free doses of Hell when the work is bad! I know that my Most Loyal Subjects like this. They are able to feel that they are part of the governing system. Plus they learn to play by my rules, which change constantly, so they never can be as smart as I am. I am always the smartest little girl in the room and I always have the last word. I am Royal over everybody and I plan to keep it that way. ”

The Princess explained the design process. “I had the lenses of the super glasses imported from The Netherlands, made by direct descendants of Antonie van Leeuwenhoek. That family always did what my family told them to do. This assured me of having the very best. I plan to take over the Dutch throne, but need time to resolve problems in Greece, Portugal, Egypt, Russia, and Italy, before going Dutch! With all this pressure, you can understand why I need to be able to tap into information at all times without appearing to be nosy. I am sort of my own James Bond film, just with fewer action scenes. I let doubles and body guards do all the scary stuff,” the Princess casually mentioned as of this writing. “People don’t want me to take needless risks. My subjects demand to be ruled with common sense. To that end, I must set high standards of safety. So, I can hardly be expected to do my own stunts.”
So, here they are: Goo-Goo Glasses. Sleekly designed so that no one will have a clue that there is a Royal spy in their midst. No place, public or private, will be able to escape detection. “It’s for their own safety. I am doing this for the people, to help them. It is for their own good,” huffed an indignant Melita. “How can anyone NOT like this perfect use of technology? It is for their protection. Everything I do is for the benefit of others.”

Princess Melita Bonaparte hopes to avoid legal problems as she continues to claim to be the inventor of google glasses. “I renamed them Goo-Goo Glasses to keep it from being a nasty, legal mess,” she explained.

Few Monarchs have invented themselves as well as new gadgets, the way Princess Melita Bonaparte has. She remains constantly engaged in all forms of technology. She tells us that people will make passes at Royals in glasses.

If You Want To Be Cool–Be Ready To Die For It! Slit your own throat! Do it! Not if you are under 18.

I think Desi Arnaz was the one who came up with syndication. It’s a good idea, you can reuse & recycle. You can gain a sort of useless form of immortality. Why, if you come up with a terrific idea, your intellectual property can sort of rule the world.

That’s just what we did here. Be different. Put off quitting smoking. Put off buying a cell phone upgrade. Put off fixing a leaking roof.

Just put off everything, except the IRS. That idea would be really bad, expensive. You don’t want that.

So, get ready, take that first puff–do it slowly, and put it off as long as you can, before you slit your throat.

If you are under 18, ask parental permission to get fake blood, and make sure you clean up the floor after it’s over–THERE WILL BE FAKE BLOOD!

CLICK & DRAG THAT FIRST CIGARETTE THAT YOU WANTED TO DO WHEN IN 4th GRADE…

…BUT WERE AFRAID YOU’D GET IN TROUBLE IN SCHOOL FOR SLITTING YOUR OWN THROAT!

MUNI STATION ATTENDANT GIVES THUMBS UP TO DEATH BY BRANDING!

Right after work, a garden slug was smoking an eCigarette while waiting on the Outbound platform @ Market/Castro Streets. I complained to the Station Attendant. Is taking stupid pills part of the job requirement of being a MUNI Station attendant? I was told “There is nothing I can do about it.”

In San Francisco, you have to get 896 permits if you want to paint your back porch red. You have to bribe people to get past the zillions of kilometres of ‘red tape’ just to do the simplest of things for your personal property. You pay 10 cents for a bag at any store, even Burger King.

Are you really going to ask me to believe that it is perfectly okay for slime bags and garden slugs to smoke their goddamned eCigarettes & blow their goddamned smoke in my face on a MUNI platform? Do I have to get cancer from their smoke? Does it take an Act of Congress to get something as obvious as this is to be addressed on an appropriate Public Health level?

Do I have to find an attorney to sue MUNI for permitting this? Or, was this station attendant too afraid of being written up for insubordination (the favourite word of inept managers) to enforce (by-now) well-established social norms?

If it is legal to smoke eCigarettes any place you want to smoke them, then why not just revoke all the laws about smoking and bring it all back to the way it was in 1980, when you could not even go to see a film without gasping through the clouds of smoke? Worse than the fools who buy this stuff & use their lungs as chimneys are the goddamned companies that manufacture this dung. Would you willingly eat poison? Looks like the answer to this dumb question is “Yes” –if it is properly branded, and you get beautiful celebrity endorsements, the lemmings will follow.

These crazed contraptions will prove every bit as dangerous as the ones that are still grown on plantations & still marketed to the people among us who can least afford them.

The banning of smoking in public places includes trash, as well as cigarettes.

It’s the law. MUNI Station attendants need to understand this. A request for enforcement should not be considered something that is to be dismissed or a cause for an argument. Our health is at stake.

Per MUNI Station Attendant, it is just wonderful for you to be subjected to eCigarette smoke from your nearest thug/garden slug on the MUNI platform. “Nothing can be done.”

Will this help MUNI Station Attendants better understand the Public Health Issue of smoking while waiting on station platforms is wrong?
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AND HERE IS THE SLAP IN YOUR FACE: LET BLU eCIGS TAKE BACK OUR FREEDOM!
The hookers on Post Street have more integrity than this one…enjoy your freedom!

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LET’S GATHER TOGETHER FOR ADDICTION–IT’S COOL, MENTHOL, & BRANDED!

LET’S BRAND TOGETHER & SEE WHO CAN DIE THE SLOWEST POSSIBLE DEATH!!!!
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