Has anyone ever told you that you can’t sneeze with your eyes open? It’s not true. I felt a sneeze coming on once, and was utterly DETERMINED to sneeze with my eyes opened. I proved this idea about you HAVE to close your eyes when sneezing wrong. It felt weird, but you can do it. It just takes a little concentration. That was a quantum leap. My goodness! I keep waiting to hear from Stockholm. But there is no photographic proof. All I can do is write it down and publish it, and say, this is a true fact. You can sneeze with your eyes open. If only other challenges in life were this simple to resolve.
Now, have you ever tried to fasten your Pan Am seat belt while standing? Well, you get the prize if you were able to do that in recent years. There is no more Pan Am, only Pam Ann. Say that really, really fast, and people will start thinking you’ve had one too many adult beverages.
It’s not a good idea to try to stand when fastening your seat belt on any aircraft, defunct or still in business.
Even the rebel in me thinks it’s a good idea to do this while sitting down. It hurts to be a conformist, but sometimes it just beats the alternative.
CODA: The Biggest Challenge OF ALL—
Try to sneeze with your eyes open whilst standing up & fastening your seat belt in an aircraft that is malfunctioning. Those pesky, drop-down oxygen devices may spoil your concentration.
And do you know why they even have those masks? You know, the drop-down ones. Concentrate. You get the recorded advice to put them on young children & others who need assistance. It’s almost like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for murder. The masks make it harder to hear people scream. Should the flight (with the able assistance of the pilots, or a hijacker who gets a last-minute change of heart) right itself, what do you say about the recently murdered, badly behaved children you just lopped off. You might have some explaining to do once the flight problems are over, and the pilot is being cheered on the tarmac. “I was only trying to help…” might work. You will still need to concentrate and be very convincing in the telling before becoming the basis of a thriller genre film about how you survived an airline crash, knowing all along that you became a serial killer due to this odd set of circumstances beyond your control.
BUCKLE UP FOR SAFETY & REMEMBER, YOUR SEAT CAN BE USED AS A FLOTATION DEVICE!
It’s not a good idea to try to do this while standing. It could just ruin your whole day. It’s just not worth the effort. Sit this one out.
The BEST WAY TO SIT IT OUT:
You Tube: Peter, Paul, and Mary, Featuring John Denver: Leaving On a Jet Plane
And should you need more education–please review these important Public Service
Announcements: http://aviationhumor.net/pam-ann-cabin-services/#
Thomas Outt 