Bonaparte Passport Binge Bums Bureaucracy!

The function of a Passport is to create jobs for people who can’t work in the real world? Or is it to give permission to cross imaginary boarders legally, so that you can go to Constantinople & end up in jail there for doing what the locals do? You got me! But without a Passport, once I go to Constantinople (which is illegally called Istanbul), I can’t come back here.

Princess Melita Bonaparte explains that Passports were issued according to the Bible. I knew she’d say that. She claims to be kin to King Solomon. I looked it up in Wikipedia, and found out that what she said appears to be true. But she claims that Passports are now issued by Multiplex Cinemas & that’s how she got hers, by going to see films all the time & having them issue her a new Passport almost weekly. “I wanted to be able to go to every country in the world,” she said.

The Passport Office Staff were so fed up with the obvious (to them) document fraud, that one of them shot Princess Melita Bonaparte The passport office worker quit her job that very day, and is still on the lam. [/caption
In English history, King Henry V issued the first Passport, and Princess Melita Bonaparte claims to have that in her possession, and uses this as proof that she SHOULD be the reigning Monarch of the United Kingdom. “I keep in touch will all world issues by reading People Magazine, the National Enquirer, and going to action films. This qualifies me to be far more suited to manage the country than any of those Bush people!” The Princess screamed this so loudly @ 3:00, that car alarms went off, and someone called the police. False Alarm.

[caption id="attachment_6126" align="aligncenter" width="460"] Her Imperial Highness, The Princess Melita Bonaparte, actually thought that this #shareAMC #staycations was an authentic passport & went home, fiddled around, printed it, and tried to leave the country.

She, of course, got caught…

What worked as a #Megamoviefan did not work as a form of legal identity. #shareAMC tried to explain that they had no control of Princess Melita Bonaparte’s affairs, foreign or domestic.

The Imperial Princess really did think that she could have endless passports all over the world, due to her Imperial & Royal status.

Many will shake their heads with disbelief–but Princess Melita truly thought that #Maleficent was a country, same as #Transformers, #Godzilla. For some reason, she did not have that level of confusion about #Spider-Man. She thought he issued the Passport, and that it was a perfectly legal document. Her response to being asked what was the reason she was making a trip to any given country, was to reply, “#staycation.”

The Bonaparte Princess got #staycation confused with the song made famous by singer #ConnieFrancis. We had to include a video, to show her the difference in spelling!

The Bonaparte Princess was so deeply in love with #Spider-Man, that she thought she could get away with claiming that they were married. It did not work, as Spider-Man ripped off her mask, to protect his legal rights from being compromised. It created much tension between France & USA.

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kokok

After Spider-Man drew his line in the sand (or webbed her out of his life), Princess Melita Bonaparte turned to #Hercules for help. By that time she was in a state of desperation, having violated all the #Anti-Hapsburg laws in #Austria. She had no where else to go. No #ViennaSauges for the Princess.

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koko

Her last solo attempt @ Passport fraud was having her twin brother, Prince Roland Bonaparte II (better known as #CaptainSpaulding) pose for her. Her thinking was that no one would be able to tell the difference! This attempt almost worked, airport security let her get through. It was not till she got out the gin & had too much, that she gave herself away!

One of her other relatives (who prefers not to be identified, because he actually still has a Throne) got her a “Passport” that passed.

#Rumourhasit that the recent abdication of His Majesty, The King of Spain, was traced to his illegal effort to help his cousin, Princess Melita Bonparte, obtain this illegal, but much more professional looking Passport. We hope that she does not end up wearing an orange jump suit, unless it comes from the House of Versace.

We were saddened to learn of the Abdication of His Majesty, King Juan Carlos of Spain. We were stunned to learn that it was because of his efforts to help his befuddled cousin gain access to Greece to help in the Restoration of their Monarchy.

MALEFICENT WAS MAGNIFICENT

With a story line that was simple, easy to follow, accessible, we now can see that MALEFICENT was not always like the Duchess of Windsor. In fact, she started life as a normal little fairly, a little girl fairy. She had fun, played in her natural habitat, and was altogether a charming & sweet creature.

Broken promises & a broken heart took their toll. This story is told from Maleficent’s point of view, showing us what meanness can do to the spirit, even the spirit of a fairy. She was mutilated by the one she loved, her wings taken, clipped. That was when everything changed for her, and she cast a spell on one whom she would come to love quite profoundly.

Angelina Jolie has never looked more enticing. Her performance wisely avoids the maniacal antics of frustrated, mid-level managers who wear power suits. As a fairy, even with her wings cut off, she’s a bit better balanced than what we see parading around in our offices these days. She keeps it together enough to have a believable purpose in life. Unlike her human counterparts, she still knows the difference between right & wrong, and while revenge is in the air (the one thing she does seem to share with bad managers), she manages to see through this, and there is redemption that saves her from drowning in her own hurt.

You Tube Trailer of Angelina Jolie as MALEFICENT

The finding of balance, in terms of mending her life wounds, is what I think we see happen with Maleficent, as the story unfolds. This, is one of the more important themes of the story.

Her Imperial Highness, The Princess Melita Bonaparte, generously gave of her time & advice to Angelina Jolie in preparing for “this role of a life time. I had turned it down, it was too much like my own life, plus I am too young to play the part, so I was so happy to help Angelina Jolie with the part.”

Angelina Jolie poster without the Imperial Princess. We are certain that Princess Melita Bonparte’s influence will make the film a huge success.

The Official Poster/Standee, as inspired by Her Imperial Highness, The Princess Melita Bonaparte.