Bonaparte Passport Binge Bums Bureaucracy!

The function of a Passport is to create jobs for people who can’t work in the real world? Or is it to give permission to cross imaginary boarders legally, so that you can go to Constantinople & end up in jail there for doing what the locals do? You got me! But without a Passport, once I go to Constantinople (which is illegally called Istanbul), I can’t come back here.

Princess Melita Bonaparte explains that Passports were issued according to the Bible. I knew she’d say that. She claims to be kin to King Solomon. I looked it up in Wikipedia, and found out that what she said appears to be true. But she claims that Passports are now issued by Multiplex Cinemas & that’s how she got hers, by going to see films all the time & having them issue her a new Passport almost weekly. “I wanted to be able to go to every country in the world,” she said.

The Passport Office Staff were so fed up with the obvious (to them) document fraud, that one of them shot Princess Melita Bonaparte The passport office worker quit her job that very day, and is still on the lam. [/caption
In English history, King Henry V issued the first Passport, and Princess Melita Bonaparte claims to have that in her possession, and uses this as proof that she SHOULD be the reigning Monarch of the United Kingdom. “I keep in touch will all world issues by reading People Magazine, the National Enquirer, and going to action films. This qualifies me to be far more suited to manage the country than any of those Bush people!” The Princess screamed this so loudly @ 3:00, that car alarms went off, and someone called the police. False Alarm.

[caption id="attachment_6126" align="aligncenter" width="460"] Her Imperial Highness, The Princess Melita Bonaparte, actually thought that this #shareAMC #staycations was an authentic passport & went home, fiddled around, printed it, and tried to leave the country.

She, of course, got caught…

What worked as a #Megamoviefan did not work as a form of legal identity. #shareAMC tried to explain that they had no control of Princess Melita Bonaparte’s affairs, foreign or domestic.

The Imperial Princess really did think that she could have endless passports all over the world, due to her Imperial & Royal status.

Many will shake their heads with disbelief–but Princess Melita truly thought that #Maleficent was a country, same as #Transformers, #Godzilla. For some reason, she did not have that level of confusion about #Spider-Man. She thought he issued the Passport, and that it was a perfectly legal document. Her response to being asked what was the reason she was making a trip to any given country, was to reply, “#staycation.”

The Bonaparte Princess got #staycation confused with the song made famous by singer #ConnieFrancis. We had to include a video, to show her the difference in spelling!

The Bonaparte Princess was so deeply in love with #Spider-Man, that she thought she could get away with claiming that they were married. It did not work, as Spider-Man ripped off her mask, to protect his legal rights from being compromised. It created much tension between France & USA.

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After Spider-Man drew his line in the sand (or webbed her out of his life), Princess Melita Bonaparte turned to #Hercules for help. By that time she was in a state of desperation, having violated all the #Anti-Hapsburg laws in #Austria. She had no where else to go. No #ViennaSauges for the Princess.

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Her last solo attempt @ Passport fraud was having her twin brother, Prince Roland Bonaparte II (better known as #CaptainSpaulding) pose for her. Her thinking was that no one would be able to tell the difference! This attempt almost worked, airport security let her get through. It was not till she got out the gin & had too much, that she gave herself away!

One of her other relatives (who prefers not to be identified, because he actually still has a Throne) got her a “Passport” that passed.

#Rumourhasit that the recent abdication of His Majesty, The King of Spain, was traced to his illegal effort to help his cousin, Princess Melita Bonparte, obtain this illegal, but much more professional looking Passport. We hope that she does not end up wearing an orange jump suit, unless it comes from the House of Versace.

We were saddened to learn of the Abdication of His Majesty, King Juan Carlos of Spain. We were stunned to learn that it was because of his efforts to help his befuddled cousin gain access to Greece to help in the Restoration of their Monarchy.

ARE YOU DIVERGENT? SAVE YOUR STANDEE FROM BEING TOSSED IN THE DUMPSTER!

Her Imperial Highness, The Princess Melita Bonaparte, has an urgent appeal to make to all DIVERGENTS–Appeal to the Highest Powers to save your beloved DIVERGENT STANDEEE from being tossed into the DUMPSTER! It is bound to happen–that is the sad ‘company policy’ that Her Imperial Highness has learned from her informants.

Princess Melita Bonaparte has always known that she inherited being DIVERGENT from the late Princess Marie Bonaparte. She studied Freud & then she read Veronica Roth’s book to prepare for being thrown alive into the dumpster! Only you can save the standee from this fate!

ONLY YOU can help. Princess Melita has done everything she can to help preserve & protect these works of art for your enjoyment, and for the enjoyment of future collectors.

Princess Melita Bonaparte has no hands but yours. Her heart she gives freely, but you must provide her your hands. She is your passionate advocate, your Monarch of Absolute Love.

Be Dauntless, in your support for DIVERGENT!

Princess Melita Bonaparte, now restored to the Imperial Line, read DIVERGENT cover to cover-pleading with theatre managers to save the standee from the Dumpsters. Can we have a stay of execution?

Coming 21 March 2014.

Princess Melita Bonaparte found her brother, Prince Roland Bonaparte II, as part of the DIVERGENT STANDEE. Single handed, an Army of One, she attempted to preserve & protect this wonderful treasure from ending up in the AMC Dumpster. She has no hands but yours!

You Tube Trailer For DIVERGENT

Happy St. Patrick’s Day From Princess Melita Bonaparte

Her Imperial Highness, The Princess Melita Bonaparte, wishes all a Happy St. Patrick’s Day. She appeals for those who are falsely imprisoned, that they may find justice.

Princess Melita Bonaparte pleads for those in jail who have no head, no voice of their own…”Such needless suffering must end,” she appeals to the world.

In prayerful mode, the Princess assists those in prisons with her spiritual benefits, endless prayer & advocacy.

“Let us come together to bring better schools & a better future for our people. Prisons are the result of a society that has been mislead by following the Values of Wal-Mart & other forms of corporate greed. No one should be denied educational or medical benefits & no one should have to depend upon being named ‘Employee of the Month’ as their only source of validation. Parking lots, where no one walks to the stores , are not the answer. We must seek simpler ways to live that encourage education, appreciation of art & literature & no more throwing away of film promotional art into dumpsters. Let the creative spirit of art thrive, and become a benefit for all communities. Let us send a light out to the rest of the world of this special day!”

Dedicated To Patrick Stewart–All About XXXing Film Fans

X-MEN X-ALia X-Cel X-cuse X-am X-Pire X-cellent X-crement X-citing???

It’s another X-Men film. Not Madam X? I’m sorry!

Her Imperial Highness continues to show her devotion to the art of film promotional ‘standees’ & to Patrick Stewat, to whom she dedicates her Bonaparte fortune. She likes to X-periment with every possibility in life.

YOU TUBE TRAILER OF X-MEN DAYS OF FUTURE PAST

The casting error of omitting Her Imperial Highness, The Princess Melita Bonaparte, becomes evident very quickly. She brings a special presence & value that cannot be explained or denied. She longs to be placed into a dumpster, next to her film idols & professional peers. For her next film: THE PERFECTION OF RUIN–which will be dedicated to Patrick Stewart.

When casting directors & studios understand that people are coming to see her, they will stop calling about using her car. Princess Melita Bonaparte is tireless in her efforts to promote films & those who work in them. She believes that her future is in the stars…

Captain Spaulding Look-alike Ranks Up Ladder of Success!

Now Captain Spaulding, like his counterpart, Princess Melita Bonaparte, is taking over America–He is just like a stealth bomb–wants all the tax money & none of the bother. “I don’t want to have to work for a living, I don’t go ’round putting rubber chemicals in bread, and I don’t take dogs inside of restaurants, hospitals, or welfare agencies, so why shouldn’t I get all the money & fame I want?” He pouts like this all the time, and the best thing is just to run the opposite direction when you see him posing in front of pre-dumpster disposal art. But look how wonderful those doomed displays are! That must be part of the poetry of pre-Dumpster detritus. It’s splendid one day & rotting in AMC Dumpsters the very next day! Captain Spaulding is joining forces with Princess Melita Bonaparte in an effort to protect this highly dismissed & unprotected legacy of our culture.

“I just want Paramount to stop calling me about my car. I don’t have a car. Put me in a blockbuster film, and everyone will be happy as a foot long Subway sandwich!”

If only Captain Spaulding would stop digressing & write a dissertation about this art work not being taken seriously by the film industry, maybe he’d get a trip to Stockholm out of the deal, and Princess Melita Bonaparte would get her grave back & she could haunt it happily ever after.

We just have to clam up on that one. It looks as if someone glued a Subway Footlong on Captain Spaulding’s head & he didn’t get it. Poor thing!

If you can’t get Captain Spaulding’s look-alike out of your mind, contact Paramount Studios. Tell them to bring back the Studio System, give him a ten picture contract & all will be well with the world.

A VOTE FOR CAPTAIN SPAULDING LOOK-ALIKE IS A VOTE FOR AMERICA!

This Captain Spaulding look-alike may creep you out, but he is the hope of America & for a world United against taking cinema promotional art & sticking in into a dumpster. “No more Dumpster Babies made of cardboard,” he implores. “Call Paramount-put me in pictures!”

Let us do everything we can to help Captain America!

Here is proof that the Captain Spaulding look-alike does his part to help Captain America!

“If I can’t get into pictures, I’ll answer the want ads,” says the Captain Spaulding Look-alike. “I just want to do my part for Captain America.”

CAPTAIN SPAULDING IS MORE THAN A CARDBOARD DECORATION WAITING TO BE DUMPED!

Can you help Captain Spaulding stand up for Film Promotional Art? Can you keep him from ending up rotting in the Dumpster @ 1000 Van Ness Avenue? Can film promotional art be saved? Maybe the Greek Monarchy can help us?

Site of the Missing Grave For Paranormal activities–gone, gone, gone

Site of the missing grave for Paranormal Activities–taken away before the film had even completed its theatrical release & tossed in the dumpster! What a loss for film fans!

Captain Spaulding was created by Rob Zombie, who makes films. His look-a-like wears a costume courtesy of Spirit Halloween Costume Stores, and his graven image is due to the technology of Dreambox.