Captain Spaulding Disguise Secret Revealed!

Beneath the disguise of Captain Spaulding, is Prince Roland Bonaparte II, brother & arch-rival to Princess Melita Bonaparte. His Imperial Highness, Prince Roland, has kept a low profile, mostly auditioning for inconspicuous ‘extra’ work @ Paramount Studios.

He was threatened by a metermaid, he claims–but we really think he wanted to cut a piece of pie, while distracting the staff of The Green Chile Kitchette on Church Street. He is begging to be a spokesman for the PIE shack, or even for laundry detergent.

He thought that no one would ever spot him in this disguise, that he could be left alone, anonymous. Such was not to be.

A vanilla milkshake for Captain Spaulding, in real life, Prince Roland Bonaparte II.

A vanilla milkshake for Captain Spaulding, in real life, Prince Roland Bonaparte II.

Captain Spaulding (in reality His Imperial Highness, Prince Roland Bonaparte II) stalking Princess Melita Bonaparte who, once again, auditioned for a part that had already been cast.  She will never learn--but we can well understand her terror of Prince Roland!

Captain Spaulding (in reality His Imperial Highness, Prince Roland Bonaparte) stalking Princess Melita Bonaparte who, once again, auditioned
for a part that had already been cast. She will never learn–but we can well understand her terror of Prince Roland!


Photograph of Prince Roland Bonaparte II as Captain Spaulding by Carmen Patron

Dia de los Muertos–2 November 2013

This has been long-held tradition that has only recently been given appropriate space & attention by the San Francisco community at large. It has finally come to be seen as something that is for everyone. I attended my first procession three years ago. After returning home, I understood that I had missed a lot by not paying more attention to what is so nearby & so very available, if you just take a moment to see it.

This is my very first altar dedicated to Dia de los Muertos--from Corona Heights with love!

This is my very first altar dedicated to Dia de los Muertos–from Corona Heights with love!

I do hope for the next year’s Dia de los Muertos that website & poster designs will use the day-month-year format. It is more in keeping with correct usage with the Spanish language. Additionally, this format looks better, and follows the logic in keeping time–staring from the smaller unit (day) to the larger unit (year), making a complete circle. The way American usage has evolved symbolically disrupts the natural flow of things. Perhaps, there’s a message of thought change that is embedded in this concept?

If you look, you will see Edith Massey (it is a framed post card actually written to me by John Waters–and no, I am NOT kidding!-he sent it to acknowledge a horrible crime story from the Los Angeles Times I sent to him about a person who set a taxi-cab driver on fire!). You will also see my beloved Princess Melba Bonaparte, who calls herself Peaches Christ. Jesus, I am so glad Mrs Christ took her! Then, there is a drawing of Her Imperial Highness, The Princess Melita Bonaparte, in a cheesy, plastic frame I found in pieces on a parked car that had a ticket on it. I used Gorilla Glue, and put the frame all back together, and it was perfect for the Perpetually Exiled Imperial Bonaparte. Please notice, the programme from the fabulosa CARRIE: The Musical! That was an entirely different spin of the bottle for that story, it took the subject matter very seriously & I was impressed with the quality of the performance & just wanted to take the mother home with me, to make me put my Office clutter in order, after a prayer session! The tank top draped over the lamp is from San Franpsycho, a store on Divisadero that deserves your Death Cult Dollars! The book, I Yelped loud & long about the rudeness of the staff of that store: Loved To Death–they need to read up everything Miss Manners has ever written. The name of that book (get it online, prevent storekeeper bullying!) is Heavenly Bodies–more about that later–by Paul Koudounaris. It’s a keeper, but the store needs new managers. So spend your Death Cult Dollars someplace else! See you Saturday! The dead don’t like rude staff people, and they have their ways…

Bonaparte Princess Caught Without Makeup In State of Horror

Few know that Horror is about to become the 51st State. It’s a state of mind, but the Federal Government can count on the IRS to generate revenue whether the state is a State or a state. It will be famous for it’s Gertrude Stein: Princess Melita Bonaparte, without make up, being horrified by others in the same, uh, state, uh, condition.

Keeping in mind the state she is usually in, it’s no surprise that eye-level shopping leads to eye level reading.

A halo over her unmade face, reveals the real Melita Bonaparte--her perpetual state of astonishment is Horror, about to become the 51st State.

A halo over her unmade face, reveals the real Melita Bonaparte–her perpetual state of astonishment is Horror, about to become the 51st State.

Horror–Red or Blue? You can put on lots of make-up no matter how others in Horror see it. Just do what you want, and let the Horror show go on! Remember Star magazine is number one for celebrity news, just not cerebral news. Get your copy now!

Murder(S) In My Apartment–! 911!!!!!! Am I Next?

Someone was holding my hand! Shots rang out in the dark & I heard tires peeling off rubber, the squeal deal & not a uniform in sight. No, the police won’t come to my Grey Gardens–the corpse disappeared–or stuffed into a dumpster. All that is left are clues that it happened. The knife, intended for pies, went for a throat. A movie theatre ticket, proof of some connection, but what? What happened here? What was the motivation? A Dorothy Malone autograph, maybe?

You don’t leave a bloody knife in plain sight with a label, not unless you are trying to plant evidence to fool the county appointed investigator. It looks like the Court tagged the evidence before charging anyone with the crime.

BIRTH OF A PARK BENCH MURDER–MURDER, HE PAINTED?

A heinous crime on Corona Heights--reaching to the very inner sanctum of the highest ranking member of the Bonaparte Family.

A heinous crime on Corona Heights–reaching to the very inner sanctum of the highest ranking member of the Bonaparte Family.

Not a drop of the precious distilled spirits seemed to be touched, but what of the ticket, to where?  Was this meant as a warning?

Not a drop of the precious distilled spirits seemed to be touched, but what of the ticket, to where? Was this meant as a warning?

And the casually tossed newspaper–what was this person reading? Or, is this just something else to throw investigative journalism into a state of shambles? The only person who might know isn’t saying a word, at least not about this: Princess Melita Bonaparte.

What makes Super Duper Burgers Special?

In a world where fast food means Subway, McDonald’s, Burger King, Taco Bell, along with mega stores, Walmart & Target, where is the market for mid-range? How is it discovered & why & how does it seem to be thriving?

Super Duper:  is clever marketing making this work, or is it a better product?

Super Duper: is clever marketing making this work, or is it a better product?

Super Duper Burger seems to be the J. Crew of the fast food hamburger world, placing emphasis on a slightly ‘retro’ look & feel. Their marketing image is showcasing their products to be almost like home cooked. Signs, designed in a late 19th Century style draw attention to key marketing words such as ‘organic,’ ‘homemade.’ Even the buns have been designated as something a notch above the ordinary. It seems as if the creators of this business have, via intuition, latched on to the idea that people need places to go for a quick meal that does not have to taste nor feel as if it came from a food factory. I think this is the key to their success.

The pickles are not like those you find in Safeway or in other fast food restaurants.  There is a freshness about them.  They are an option, you get them yourself, if you want them, less salty, less sweet than what you might expect.

The pickles are not like those you find in Safeway or in other fast food restaurants. There is a freshness about them. They are an option, you get them yourself, if you want them, less salty, less sweet than what you might expect.

'Organic' is the word used to promote their soft serve ice cream.  Dairy Queen, take note!

‘Organic’ is the word used to promote their soft serve ice cream. Dairy Queen & all other Royalty take note!

Here is the Grand Prize: Super Duper Burger With Fries & Homemade Pickles!

The menu indicates that the burgers are cooked 'medium.' But they will depart & you can have yours well-done, if you ask.  It was very well cooked, not greasy--fries needed to be a tad warmer, but they were still nice.  And pickles are optional. If wanted, they are on a side counter.

The menu indicates that the burgers are cooked ‘medium.’ But they will depart & you can have yours well-done, if you ask. It was very well cooked, not greasy–fries needed to be a tad warmer, but they were still nice. And pickles are optional. If wanted, they are on a side counter.

For desert? Unable to make up your mind? Just try it all!

What to do when comparison shopping?  Do it all!

What to do when comparison shopping? Do it all!

This is a very nice customer service touch: They know their clientèle fits into two basic categories, both of whom tend to carry backpacks–those who dwell in San Francisco & those who are here as tourists! The hooks provided for backpacks are one of the best ideas I have seen in a restaurant!

Minimize clutter & space problems:  Super Duper has done it right! Hang your bag & enjoy your meal!

Minimize clutter & space problems: Super Duper has done it right! Hang your bag & enjoy your meal!

How to be hooked on Super Duper--detail of back pack hook device.

How to be hooked on Super Duper–detail of back pack hook device.

There was no need to go all the way to Elba to find a a glowing organic soft serve ice cream cone. Super Duper Burgers has them.

Organic ice cream takes on the air of mysticism, as Princess Melita Bonaparte, Imperial heir apparent, glows in her appreciation.

Organic, soft-serve ice cream takes on the air of mysticism, as Princess Melita Bonaparte, Imperial heir apparent, glows in her appreciation.

Rita Hayworth and Her Dance

Very little need for anything to be added–This is a loving tribute to a wonderfully talented & woefully under appreciated film star–the dancer who became Rita Hayworth! Splendid video choices! Enjoy! This is a treasure!

Backlots

By Lara Gabrielle Fowler

Today marks what would have been the 95th birthday of Rita Hayworth, the legendary screen goddess best known today for her seductive portrayal of Gilda in the 1946 film of the same name. Beautiful, long-legged, and mysterious, she was Columbia’s biggest star of the 1940’s and became a pin-up girl during the war years with a popularity rivaling that of Betty Grable. Her popularity as a sex symbol became so overwhelming that many lost sight of exactly who she was, and from whence she had come. As with the vast majority of sex symbols, she became objectified, and her career prior to her 1946 portrayal of Gilda was almost completely forgotten and her background washed away. The sex symbol image bothered her. “I’ve never really thought of myself as a sex symbol,” Hayworth once said, “more as a comedienne who could dance.” Today, on her birthday, I…

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Old People Haunt Corner Mom & Pop Grocery/Deli Store! Extra, Read All About It!

Old People are not leaving this corner in San Francisco any time soon! They are part of the culture of disappearing print magazines & they won’t go!

Old People Haunt San Francisco Corner--it's old People magazines collected by the store and/or donated by supporters of the store.  A charming find in a charming City!

Old People Haunt San Francisco Corner–it’s old People Magazines collected by the store and/or donated by supporters of the store. A charming find in a charming City!

300 Church Street Groceteria--a lovely collection of Old People have made it home--it's really a lovely touch by the store, adding to the feeling of being connected by "old" magazines, illustrating how fleeting time is & how fast it marches on...

300 Church Street Groceteria in San Francisco–a lovely collection of Old People have made it home–it’s really a lovely touch by the store, adding to the feeling of being connected by “old” magazines, illustrating how fleeting time is & how fast it marches on…

They also have several nice reviews on Yelp about their deli sandwiches & that’s good to know.

Are We Willing To Pay The Price When Only The Rich Can Pay College Tuition?

RUNNER RUNNER, on the surface, is a film dealing with a person who uses online gambling as a method to pay for his college tuition. As things ramp up & Costa Rican based ponzi schemes quickly take over & it becomes a survival thriller of a person who gets caught up in computer fraud on an international level–a well acted cyber crime thriller that kept my attention throughout.

After some reflection, (and this may be unintended by the directors & script writers) it seems this film has something deeper to say about American culture. One: The price we are all paying (and the irony is not lost on my head that I am POTP on this issue “real time” as I write these comments) a huge price for the convenience of all things Internet. Two: Who can afford to attend an institution of higher education these days?

The American educational system is such that all kinds of opportunities open up for “Ivy League” graduates, and the rest are lucky to find a job doing the fries at a fast food place. Diplomas from many public high schools are nothing more than attendance certificates. Many recipients exit secondary school with no skills & cannot complete the application process to attend college & are not equipped with enough or appropriate education to do the basic course work required for a degree programme.

Another issue not directly articulated is the concept of being locked in to a situation of indentured servitude. As such, the character portrayed by Justin Timberlake (Richie Furst) is cornered, in part by his own fear, into a master-slave relationship with a totally corrupt master. The concept of mentoring or sponsorship has been trashed in the theme of this film & seems to be less & less how things are being done. I suspect that there is an iceberg waiting to be struck, as part of the unwritten & untold story behind the story going on here in our back yard. Jobs/employment rule, and freedom of choice to do things ethically, are becoming lost, as “Metrics” take over at the expense of one’s moral & spiritual core.

Curious, and maybe part of a Master Plan, that Justin Timberlake, has been well cast in a second film dealing with what goes one behind-the-keystrokes of Internet programming & the fundamental compromises that cost emotionally in terms of friendships lost & the emptiness of trust betrayed.

RUNNER RUNNER: ABOUT MORE THAN CYBER CRIME & THE HIGH LIFE

The Most Precious Paper Napkin In The World

When having a party, one could easily use a paper towel, instead of a napkin, or a plain napkin, rather than a decorative napkin. People, when possible, seems to lean towards decoration & adding visual allure to brighten things up. Art, in many settings, it’s just our human nature to have & enjoy it.

Decorative paper napkins are no more functional than a paper towel, they just look nicer & add a detail to a party environment, making it feel & look nicer.

Having napkins that are decorative can be seasonal–Xmas, Fourth of July, Halloween. Or, they can be for parties that lend themselves to themes, such as baby showers, weddings, graduations, birthdays. Then, there are parties that have no connection to generally understood themes, parties for the sake of parties. They, too, are deserving of having art, and art does not have to be limited to images that are enhanced by frames & hanged on walls. Art, and the joy of art, can be part of the party scene. The only limits are your budget and/or your access to an outlet that sells such items.

The Most Precious Paper Napkin in the World--Special Award Given by Her Imperial Highness, Princess Melita Bonaparte.

The Most Precious Paper Napkin in the World–Special Award Given by Her Imperial Highness, Princess Melita Bonaparte. “We hereby dedicate this most beautiful paper napkin in the entire world,from all my united subjects, to Patrick Stewart.”

If you think a coffee table book should be made about this topic, please leave your comments (or outraged reactions against such a project) in the space so kindly & Providentially provided by WordPress.com below…below the You Tube video…

And Here Is How Many Disposable Paper Products (Even Party Napkins) Start–You Tube From India Showing The Start Of Becoming Functional & Disposable Paper Product.

The Three Knit Wits: 3 Doggie Diner Heads Knit Today, Gone Tomorrow!

There they were, three monumental Doggie Diner Heads, relics of a past fast food era, on a red trailer, parked directly in front of the Castro Theatre. I saw them 21 September 2013–did not have my camera with me. So, I ran all the way up the Mount Everest of Corona Heights to get my tiny point & click, to see if I could somehow do any justice to this out of context zany & loveable display. (It truly was the Doris Wishman of the art world, disembodied Doggie Diner Heads, swathed in crochet or knitted material of some kind or another). I found out later they were an installation piece by artist Olek I all really knew, this was weird, straight up my inner alleyway of strange, and would not last long. My Jeanne Dixonesque was correct: they were gone the next day. My only regret was that my camera was the old point & click & I could not get a wider range shot. All that aside, here’s that old saying…

ONLY IN SAN FRANCISCO–THE THREE KNIT WITS!

3 Doggie Diner Head on a red trailer in front of the Castro Theatre.  Just that!

3 Doggie Diner Heads on a red trailer in front of the Castro Theatre. Just that!

This Doggie Diner was greeting folks who were on Castro Street!

This Doggie Diner head was greeting folks who were on Castro Street!

This doggie was shy, he did not wag his tail.  ?   He only had a head, and could not wag.  But he was sweet & shy & I petted him anyway!

This doggie was shy, he did not wag his tail. ? He only had a head, and could not wag. But he was sweet & shy & I petted him anyway!

This doggie was the smart one, he had taken the time to go to Twin Peaks for a few drinks.  The orange face is the giveaway!

This doggie was the smart one, he had taken the time to go to Twin Peaks for a few drinks. The orange face is the giveaway!

These Doggie Diner Heads were legal, they even had their Green Cards!

These Doggie Diner Heads were legal, they even had their Green Cards!

I feel like Jimmy Swaggart, I have brought shame upon myself.  I do not know who Tom Kennedy was, is, or if he will be on the Tonight Show, or what!

I feel like Jimmy Swaggart, I have brought shame upon myself. I do not know who Tom Kennedy was, is, or if he will be on the Tonight Show, or what! Why does he say such terrible things about me?