The Burger King, happy before his marriage to Princes Melita Bonaparte
Will Holy Matrimony give equality to the Bonaparte Princess & the King of Burgerland?
Her Serene Highness, The Princess Melita Bonaparte, decided Glenn Acornn was “officially dead” due to Twinkie Deprivation. “He was like a murderous form of Panda & could eat only one thing: Twinkies,” reported the Princess. “It was much easier to collect the life insurance & run, and along the way I met the Marvelous Magical Burger King.” It seems that it’s a match made in heaven for the dynamite Bonaparte Princess & the King of Char-broiled Burgers.
Word has it that the ‘officially dead’ husband murdered at least two of their children, Prince Pierre & Prince Louis. The other two children ran away out of fear for their lives. The Princess was informed that her only daughter, Princess Antoinette Bonaparte, was eaten alive–and did not survive long after Easter Sunday, being a chocolate Bonaparte Easter bunny. It is believed that a similar fate may have literally consumed her shy, reclusive, scholarly son, Prince Roland Bonaparte II. Her life with Glenn Acorrn was far more sordid than anything before, during, and after Valley of the Dolls or Peyton Place.
Happiness & security have long been elusive for this Bonaparte whose Great-grandfather, Prince Roland Bonaparte, was excluded from the Imperial Line. This dynastic exclusion has simply fueled ambitions for Princess Melita to not merely survive, but to prevail.
Ambassadorship to Antarctica, annexation of Monaco, Mayoralty of Detroit–all are but starting points for Princess Melita in her drive to unite all nations of the world under her direct, unquestioned rule.
When confronted with discussion about a democratic process, she quips, “Too expensive to keep building those Presidential Libraries. They are bankrupting the people. I can wear diamonds over & over again at half the cost.”
Who can argue this logic? Let’s wish them a long & prosperous reign & marriage.
Will marriage make the Burger King Imperial? He has come a long way since ascending the throne as a boy-king back in 1957.
Thomas Outt 