Bonaparte Passport Binge Bums Bureaucracy!

The function of a Passport is to create jobs for people who can’t work in the real world? Or is it to give permission to cross imaginary boarders legally, so that you can go to Constantinople & end up in jail there for doing what the locals do? You got me! But without a Passport, once I go to Constantinople (which is illegally called Istanbul), I can’t come back here.

Princess Melita Bonaparte explains that Passports were issued according to the Bible. I knew she’d say that. She claims to be kin to King Solomon. I looked it up in Wikipedia, and found out that what she said appears to be true. But she claims that Passports are now issued by Multiplex Cinemas & that’s how she got hers, by going to see films all the time & having them issue her a new Passport almost weekly. “I wanted to be able to go to every country in the world,” she said.

The Passport Office Staff were so fed up with the obvious (to them) document fraud, that one of them shot Princess Melita Bonaparte.  The passport office worker quit her job that very day, and is still on the lam.

The Passport Office Staff were so fed up with the obvious (to them) document fraud, that one of them shot Princess Melita Bonaparte The passport office worker quit her job that very day, and is still on the lam. [/caption
In English history, King Henry V issued the first Passport, and Princess Melita Bonaparte claims to have that in her possession, and uses this as proof that she SHOULD be the reigning Monarch of the United Kingdom. “I keep in touch will all world issues by reading People Magazine, the National Enquirer, and going to action films. This qualifies me to be far more suited to manage the country than any of those Bush people!” The Princess screamed this so loudly @ 3:00, that car alarms went off, and someone called the police. False Alarm.

[caption id="attachment_6126" align="aligncenter" width="460"]Her Imperial Highness, The Princess Melita Bonaparte actually thought that this #shareAMC #staycations was an authentic passport & went home, fiddled around, printed it, and tried to leave the country. Her Imperial Highness, The Princess Melita Bonaparte, actually thought that this #shareAMC #staycations was an authentic passport & went home, fiddled around, printed it, and tried to leave the country.

She, of course, got caught…

What worked as a #Megamoviefan did not work as a form of legal identity.  #shareAMC tried to explain that they had no control of Princess Melita Bonaparte's affairs, foreign or domestic.

What worked as a #Megamoviefan did not work as a form of legal identity. #shareAMC tried to explain that they had no control of Princess Melita Bonaparte’s affairs, foreign or domestic.

The Imperial Princess really did think that she could have endless passports all over the world, due to her Imperial & Royal status.

Many will shake their heads with disbelief--but Princess Melita truly thought that #Maleficent was a country, same as #Transformers, #Godzilla.  For some reason, she did not have that level of confusion about #Spider-Man.  She thought he issued the Passport, and that it was a perfectly legal document.  Her response to being asked what was the reason she was making a trip to any given country, was to reply, "#staycation."

Many will shake their heads with disbelief–but Princess Melita truly thought that #Maleficent was a country, same as #Transformers, #Godzilla. For some reason, she did not have that level of confusion about #Spider-Man. She thought he issued the Passport, and that it was a perfectly legal document. Her response to being asked what was the reason she was making a trip to any given country, was to reply, “#staycation.”

The Bonaparte Princess got #staycation confused with the song made famous by singer #ConnieFrancis. We had to include a video, to show her the difference in spelling!

The Bonaparte Princess was so in love with #Spider-Man, that she thought she could get away with claiming that they were married.  It did not work, as Spider-Man ripped off her mask, to protect his legal rights from being compromised. It created much tension between France & USA.

The Bonaparte Princess was so deeply in love with #Spider-Man, that she thought she could get away with claiming that they were married. It did not work, as Spider-Man ripped off her mask, to protect his legal rights from being compromised. It created much tension between France & USA.

kookoko
kokok

After Spider-Man drew his line in the sand (or webbed her out of his life), Princess Melita Bonaparte turned to #Hercules for help.  By that time she was in a state of desperation, having violated all the #Anti-Hapsburg laws in #Austria.  She had no where to go.

After Spider-Man drew his line in the sand (or webbed her out of his life), Princess Melita Bonaparte turned to #Hercules for help. By that time she was in a state of desperation, having violated all the #Anti-Hapsburg laws in #Austria. She had no where else to go. No #ViennaSauges for the Princess.

koko
koko

Her last attempt @ Passport fraud was having her twin brother, Prince Roland Bonaparte II (better known as #CaptainSpaulding), pose for her. Her thinking was that no one would be able to tell the difference!  This attempt almost worked, airport security let her get through.  It was not till she got out the gin & had too  much, that she gave herself away!

Her last solo attempt @ Passport fraud was having her twin brother, Prince Roland Bonaparte II (better known as #CaptainSpaulding) pose for her. Her thinking was that no one would be able to tell the difference! This attempt almost worked, airport security let her get through. It was not till she got out the gin & had too much, that she gave herself away!

One of her other relatives (who prefers not to be identified, because he actually still has a Throne) got her a “Passport” that passed.

#Rumourhasit that the recent abdication of His Majesty, The King of Spain, was traced to his illegal effort to help his cousin Princess Melita Bonparte, obtain this illegal, but much more professional looking Passport.  We hope that she does not end up wearing an orange jump suit, unless it comes from the House of Versace.

#Rumourhasit that the recent abdication of His Majesty, The King of Spain, was traced to his illegal effort to help his cousin, Princess Melita Bonparte, obtain this illegal, but much more professional looking Passport. We hope that she does not end up wearing an orange jump suit, unless it comes from the House of Versace.

We were saddened to learn of the Abdication of His Majesty, King Juan Carlos of Spain. We were stunned to learn that it was because of his efforts to help his befuddled cousin gain access to Greece to help in the Restoration of their Monarchy.

BOSSES–DON’T ASK EMPLOYEES IF THEY HAVE A “HOT DATE!”

HOW TO COMPLIMENT AN EMPLOYEE WITHOUT BEING RUDE AND/OR STUPID

As a boss, complimenting the smartly dressed employee does not give you the right to ask her, him, it, about dating preferences, 'hot' or otherwise.  Leave this alone, and MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!  Ask yourself "What would King Solomon do?"

As a boss, complimenting the smartly dressed employee does not give you the right to ask her, him, it, about dating preferences, ‘hot’ or otherwise. Leave this alone & MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! Ask yourself: “What would King Solomon do?”

Recently an article making the rounds of LinkedIn, outlined a long list describing troublesome questions that bosses should never ask anyone with whom they have a direct reporting relationship. It ended with an open suggestion for additional questions that a manager should never ask of a sub-ordinate employee in the context of the work environment.

After some thought, here is my addition…
A BOSS/MANAGER WITH ANY SENSE OF CLASS WILL NOT ASK ANOTHER EMPLOYEE IF HE/SHE HAS A ‘HOT DATE’ WHEN THE EMPLOYEE IS OBSERVED HAVING DRESSED SMARTER THAN USUAL. Or, more smartly than usual, if you are a stickler for grammar, but dumb about life…

The only thing I can imagine Miss Manners approving would be a neutral comment, something along the lines of ‘That’s a very nice jacket/shirt/blouse/skirt/tie…you are wearing. It’s really very nice.” STOP. END OF SENTENCE. END OF SUBJECT. Having issued a polite compliment, as long as it is not overly done, or sexual in nature, that is it. You can say something nice to someone without it becoming a transgression, you really can! Issuing a compliment about apparel does not entitle any boss, old, young, male, female, born here, or imported, to cross-examine the employee who was the recipient of this compliment. It is unfathomable to me that I have been given gracious compliments, without even having had time to say a simple thank you, only to be followed up with a barrage of insulting & intrusive questions about my motivation for wearing said item of clothing.

I do not ask any of my co-workers if they have a ‘hot date’ as a follow-up to any type of compliment about personal appearance. I do not make it a habit to make comments on a frequent basis about anyone’s mode of dress, unless it is very nice, and then that is all.

Why is it acceptable for women bosses to ask me if I have a “hot date,?” If, as a male, I were to ask any female employee such a question, I would immediately be reported up a very poisonous food chain for a disciplinary write-up, leading to charges of sexual harassment.

But, as a male, I have had to endure all-too-frequent questions about my personal life. My stock answer (after asking myself “What would King Solomon do?”–to update that a bit & I ask myself “What would the King of Belgium do? Or, what would the Queen of Denmark do? What would King Constantine do, (if the Greek government came to its senses?“). I say thank you & just explain that it was clean & handy, and a good day to wear it. When asked a second time about dating, or anything personal, I often hear telephone calls or voices (in the manner of St Joan of Arc), or stare out in space, as if I were in a petite mal mode.

It is very uncomfortable to have to deal with juvenile behaviour, but equally important not to allow my distaste at such bad manners to put myself in the position of committing something equally offensive. Two wrongs just never make a right, no matter how strong the temptation for expressing indignation.

One of the anthems of modern managing is a tune that goes something like this: “YOU CAN”T MANAGE WHAT YOU CAN’T MEASURE.” Personally, I find hearing this dirge rather loathsome. But I will leave you with this coda. You cannot measure the kind of damage that plain stupidity causes when asking an employee, even kiddingly, if h/she has a hot date. You cannot manage or measure the damage control you may have do deal with if you are dumb enough to do such things. Measure your thoughts, manage them, then sing anthems. Damage control due to harassment causes stress that you cannot fathom, unless you are smart enough not to abuse your management position.

So, be smart. Despite the other anthem frequently heard, THERE IS SUCH A THING AS A DUMB QUESTION. You owe it to yourself and for the benefit of all concerned to be thoughtful, considerate, and smart. Asking dumb/inappropriate questions about clothing has nothing to do with your Mission Statement, unless you are in the fashion industry. Repeat, don’t ask employees about “hot dates,” unless you are trading recipes.