If You Want To Be Cool–Be Ready To Die For It! Slit your own throat! Do it! Not if you are under 18.

I think Desi Arnaz was the one who came up with syndication. It’s a good idea, you can reuse & recycle. You can gain a sort of useless form of immortality. Why, if you come up with a terrific idea, your intellectual property can sort of rule the world.

That’s just what we did here. Be different. Put off quitting smoking. Put off buying a cell phone upgrade. Put off fixing a leaking roof.

Just put off everything, except the IRS. That idea would be really bad, expensive. You don’t want that.

So, get ready, take that first puff–do it slowly, and put it off as long as you can, before you slit your throat.

If you are under 18, ask parental permission to get fake blood, and make sure you clean up the floor after it’s over–THERE WILL BE FAKE BLOOD!

CLICK & DRAG THAT FIRST CIGARETTE THAT YOU WANTED TO DO WHEN IN 4th GRADE…

…BUT WERE AFRAID YOU’D GET IN TROUBLE IN SCHOOL FOR SLITTING YOUR OWN THROAT!

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