Orthodox Rite Installs Princess Melita Bonaparte as Queen Regnant of Alaska & North Pole

Orthodox Metropolitan, Santa Claus, installs Princess Melita Bonaparte Queen of Alaska & North Pole-22 December 2013

Orthodox Metropolitan, Santa Claus, installs Princess Melita Bonaparte Queen of Alaska & North Pole-22 December 2013

The governance duties willfully & capriciously abandoned by Sarah Palin have now been graciously bestowed upon Her Imperial Highness, The Princess Melita Bonaparte, by the Orthodox Living Saint & Bishop of All The Northern-most Regions, The Metropolitan, Saint Nicholas, more popularly known further south as Santa Claus.

Word from most known American press sources say that Arizona Senator John McCain, breathed a sigh of relief upon receipt of this news. Others seem to recall him whispering, “Finally, something good had to come of all this sh*t. We may not ordinarily endorse any form of Royalty, but even a retired tilt-a-whirl operator would be a step in the right direction. Melita Bonaparte has my full support & sympathies, if she needs them.”

The historic & symbolic clasping of hands between the Imperial Princess with the Living Legend, Santa Claus, is an Apostolic Ritual, with its earliest recorded origins believed to have been when Cleopatra attempted to pull Marc Antony from her barge in order to escape from Emperor Augustus. Melita Bonaparte claims to be a direct descendent from the last of the Ptolemaic dynasty.

As of today, 22 December 2013–the change of title & regalia will permit the Imperial Princess to be addressed as Her Imperial Majesty in the former State of Alaska, including the North Pole. Her official duties will begin Midnight 1 January 2014. According to sources close to the newly crowned Queen of Alaska, she plans to use her influence to find peaceful means of complete restoration of the Greek Monarchy. “We should rather have the Greek nation have its own Monarchy, I will not be able to manage Alaska & Greece at the same time.”

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